The best, coolest hill on the Planet

It’s called Montmarte. And it’s in Paris. What are the odds?

Everytime I have people over, I give them a list of the things that Montmarte has to see and enjoy. I don’t tell them where they are, and so I won’t tell you!

Montmartre

  • Moulin rouge: go see boobs. But just those on the holograms outside. The show is 150 euros (ouch!).
  • Apartment of Van Gogh: there’s a painting of his called “Paris from my room”. This is where he painted it. Note that he was living with his brother Theo, so it is Theo’s place. Freeloader.
  • Atelier “Le Bateau Lavoir”: Picasso painted here “Les demoiselles d'Avignon”, they must have done awesome things to him to get a painting.
  • Yellow Korner: A Photography shop with some amazing stuff. Try to find the one where the monks are walking through some cascades. Magnificent.
  • Eglise Saint Jean: It’s red. As in brick-like red.
  • Wall of 400 “I love you’s”: Yep, there’s a wall with I love you written in 400 different languages. I’ve been there to give free hugs. It’s pretty cool.
  • Vineyard: Yes! There is Parisian wine! and it’s not good! But the vineyard is a nice thing to see if you’re not going to Bordeaux later.
  • Place du tertre: A sh*tload of painters, some very talented, some ok. Do NOT eat here. Pick the restaurants just outside of the Place.
  • Sacre Coeur: You’ll see the Basilica from all over Paris. It’s been there for 200 years and survived two wars on top of a hill. Locals think it was a miracle. I think that I don’t care. You can actually sleep here! Ask inside for more details.
  • Galérie W: This is my favorite museum in Paris. It’s contemporary art, i.e. crazy, original stuff. I like it because I think contemporary art is whatever you want it to be. You don’t need to read history books to understand it, you can just make stuff up and it’s OK.
  • Berko: The most beautiful cupcakes and incredibly delicious cakes in Montmartre
  • Sexodrome: It’s a three story building full of sexy stuff. The S&M section on the first floor is… well.. go see for yourself.
  • Moulin de la Galette: 150 years ago this hill produced wheat and grains for parisians, this is the only remaining windmill from the time.
  • Place Marcel Aymé: There is a guy coming out of a wall in bronze. Everytime I bring people here I make up a new story about this. Someday I will read the book it is based on and know the truth.

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